Have you ever had one of those days where you just don't know what to do with yourself? It doesn't sound like a big drama when you put it that way, but it's one of the most debilitating things I can think of. It's not boredom, boredom is easy to fix - just find something to do. It's more like you have stuff to do, but all of it is equally tied as the Last-Thing-I-Want-To-Do-Right-Now.
I'm having one of those days.
I have a shiteload of homework, no joke - to take this shit to the tip I'd have to hire a lorry. Unfortunately I'm broke (literally - I have fifteen dollars and change with which to survive another five weeks) or I might do just that. Another unfortunately would be that most of it is due on Monday/Tuesday, and most of the assignments are orals, which means that if I don't do them I'll look like a douche in front of the whole class/teacher. Right now, though, I'd rather die than research blood diseases for science (??? What kind of person sets that as an assignment topic?) Anyway, the real problem is that there are things I want to do,I just can't do them because man-kind on the whole is a very uncooperative race. CC has vanished off the face of the earth, S is out for the weekend with her rents, and L is being exceptionally cruel and ditching me in favour of maths homework, despite my literal begging. So much for undying loyalty and friendship. And I'm not allowed out by myself- they have someone stationed at the door. Seriously.
So I'm sitting here, cooped up, trapped, contemplating whether I can starve myself to the point where I'll fit through the narrow window opening to throw myself four stories down onto the tennis court floor. I have renewed sympathy for chickens. If they had a concept of suicide, I'm sure they'd have taken the out when they could.
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